There are two kinds of sexless marriages. One, in which the lack of intimacy is mutually accepted by both spouses. It may seem strange, but there are couples for whom this is normal and a good way to live. This kind of sexless marriage is relatively free of unhappiness. The second kind is the one in which the lack of intimacy is not a matter of choice, at least for one of the partners. This kind of sexless marriage can have deep and lasting impact on every facet of your personality. Thus, it can affect you deeply and leave its mark on various aspects of your life and the way you view romantic relationships.
In an unhappy sexless marriage where there are young children, the lack of intimacy can have long-lasting negative influence on their young minds. After all, parents are the most important role models children have. Children need to see their parents enjoying some amount of physical intimacy. Seeing you cuddle with your partner, looking at your partner with love in your eyes and behaving towards him or her in a considerate and loving manner fills your children with a deep sense of security. This instills them with confidence and brings normalcy to their childhood.
Children learn how to love and how to express love by watching the adults around them. If they are brought up in a household where there is no intimacy, they may grow up to believe that normal expressions of intimacy are somehow wrong. This leads to warped relationships in their future. It is just like any lesson which your children may learn from you just by observation and nothing else.
If a sexless marriage is filled with strife and bitter recriminations, children may develop self-esteem issues and other emotional conflicts. To grow up into healthy, self-dependent, confident individuals, children need the springboard of absolute love and complete support from their parents.
If you are coping with a sexless marriage in order to take care of your children, then you need to take definite steps to prevent your children from sensing that anything is amiss between you and your partner. Given below are some of the steps you can take to prevent your sexless marriage from affecting your children:
- Never fight in front of them. Do not hurl abuses at each other or mention the lack of intimacy in your marriage before your children. Belittling your spouse in front of your children will make them lose respect for you and/or for your spouse.
- Take the time to enjoy common recreational activities.
- Make every effort to behave in a normal fashion in front of your children.
- Try to stay emotionally connected with your spouse so that your children remain safe and secure in your love.
Children are sensitive creatures. They are quick to catch on with the realities around them. Therefore, it is absolutely essential that you and your spouse decide on how to behave in front of them so that they have a normal childhood.