I believe in making the most out of any situation. It’s a good principle which can make life much better no matter what. Even if you’re living in a sexless marriage you should always seek ways to become more happy in it. The question is how can this be accomplished.
It’s a tough question because sex has a very important place in a marriage – for a reason. Sex is part of the glue that holds a marriage together. When you are just getting to know your mate, good sex brings you close emotionally and physically. As the years go by, sex is as much as expression of affection as it is of need. It is something that we all expect to be part of a marriage. A marriage doesn’t even seem like a marriage without it.
So, it takes a lot to be happy in a sexless marriage. You need to make a big mindset switch. If there is no intimacy in a marriage, one or both partners could be feeling the strain of emotional estrangement.
Here are some tips to help you remain happy in a sexless marriage:
First, be honest with each other in exploring the reasons for the lack of sex. Is it that you have suddenly lost interest in sex altogether or just in sex with your partner? If it is the latter, you might find it difficult to be honest with your mate. But, you need to let them in on the painful secret.
According to marriage counselors, nagging and blaming can kill marital happiness faster than anything else. So, if you want to stay happy in a sexless marriage, you have to get past the bitterness. You need to stop blaming each other or yourself. What good would it do, anyway? What if the blame is yours or your spouse’s? It does not change reality. It certainly doesn’t make it better.
Even if sex is out, you could still find fulfillment in your marriage by being intimate with each other. Kiss, snuggle and hold each other. Express your need for each other in a way that satisfies you emotionally.
Even if your marriage has become sexless, there is no need to act as if you are asexual. Instead, go on frequent dates with your mate. Do all the fun things you used to do together. Give yourselves a break from the hard feelings. Try to touch each other often and slowly build up the physical intimacy again.
A purely celibate relationship is a great strain on your psyche. But, if your spouse is worth it and if you are unwilling to walk away from the wonderful history you share with a great human being, then, you need to try hard and walk the delicate line.