This is a highly embarrassing and painful subject so it is not easy to broach. In addition, you may accidentally talk about it in the wrong way so that your partner will shut you out or will otherwise not be responsive.
If you are ever to fix your sexless marriage you should be able to talk about things in an environment of trust, openness, and love. This isn’t such an easy thing to do but it can be done and must be done.
Here are some tips:
1. Don’t set ultimatums unless you’re sure you want to – You can set an ultimatum just once if you want it to continue being effective. You can’t expect to be taken seriously if you make empty threats. Therefore, only threaten separation, divorce, or anything else if you’re prepared to carry this threat through.
2. Don’t cast blame on your spouse (and not on yourself either). Casting blame will cause your partner to shut you out. He or she will not listen to you as you’d like them to. Therefore, present your sexless marriage as a couple’s problem and not your spouse’s problem alone.
3. Be positive – Talking in a positive tone with positive sentences is a great way to elicit the response you want. Instead of saying something like: “we don’t have enough sex”, say something like “I would like to have more sex. It’s something I long for”. This is a positive sentence which immediately sets a better atmosphere for the entire conversation.
4. Don’t make this a daily conversation – You can’t talk about the same thing day in and day out. It will drive your spouse crazy. Make sure that you lead a full life and talk about other things as well.
5. Make sure to express your love – This is a hard thing to talk about so make sure your spouse knows that you still love them even when your sex life has diminished. This will help make the conversation easier and smoother.
6. Talk about how you feel frankly – Make sure to truly express what you feel in a way which will really get through to your spouse. Don’t be shy as you’ve come a long way in even broaching the subject. Lay it all out. Be open and frank.
7. Ask your spouse’s opinion on what needs to be done to improve things. Make him or her a part of the process. It’s important to get their cooperation for every step to be able to fix your sexless marriage