A sexless marriage may look like a normal marriage from the outside. Spouses may behave and act normally, and they may even find pleasure in each other’s company. Even to those closest to them, it may seem like everything is normal and perfectly fine. But, a relationship in which there is no sexual fulfillment is like a faucet with a leak. The pleasure of the bond leaks away bit by bit, until, in the end there is only the shell of togetherness left. This is why it is not good to leave things as they are in the hope that they will somehow improve.
When one partner yearns for more physical fulfillment and demands more intimacy and the other partner is too distracted, busy, stressed or angry to understand and fulfill this desire, the result is frustration. And frustration is the worm that lives in the heart of the apple. It slowly eats away at its good parts, leaving it hollow and decayed.
Some of the best ways to overcome the frustration of a sexless marriage are:
Talk positive: Too many times, we are highly critical of our partners. We may not know it, but we are actually killing the very thing that they love in us. Instead of picking on their failings, try praising their achievements. When the other person feels good about themselves and the world, they are more likely to start responding to your needs positively.
Exercise: Studies have shown that men and women who are in great physical shape are more likely to enjoy sex. Exercise develops a great body and works wonders for your sex drive.
Share: Living under one roof is not enough, you also need to share your daily lives and find the time to get pleasure from sharing. Yes, the kids may be crying at the table, one of them may be running a fever or the other may be ready for their ballet class. In the middle of all this, partners need to find an anchor that keeps them tied to each other.
Make out: Remember when you were first dating, how you would play games with each other, flirt, entice and toy with the other person’s desire? Have those kinds of dates. It is not necessary that such evenings always end in sex. Just allow yourself to feel the same things you did when you were courting.
Find hobbies and interests: Do not build your life around your spouse. This is a hard advice to follow, particularly in these times when everyone is so busy with the office and the family that there is no time to cultivate other interests or hobbies. Give each other space. This very space acts like an aphrodisiac.
The reasons that lead to a sexless marriage are varied and quite complicated. Instead of feeling bitter and increasingly frustrated over the lack of physical intimacy, become actively involved in the welfare of your marriage. Work at it, as you would work on a project in the office and you’ll start noticing the difference!