If you are in a sexless marriage, then you have probably already thought of having an affair, right? It’s only natural and you may even feel like this is a way to strike back at your spouse for depriving you of affection. I understand how you feel. However, how much good do you think it will do to your marriage? The answer is NONE!
There are all sorts of reasons to have an affair. This isn’t a desire which is limited to people who live in a sexless marriage. It crosses the mind of nearly every married person at one point or the other. It’s just that some people succumb to this desire while others fight it.
Different people have different excuses for that ‘one wild fling’. Let us look at them one by one:
The need for intimacy: Some people coping with sexless relationships seek out illicit intimate relationships, or affairs, because they want to fulfill their desire for intimacy. I totally understand this because intimacy is a human need which cannot be turned off like a light switch. However, the problem with an affair is that it seldom stops where you want it to. This may not be limited to the bedroom of a lover. Soon, physical proximity leads to emotional dependence, and before you know it, one or both of you want to leave your partners. Now, you have a much harder decision to make and one which has huge ramifications.
The need to get away from it all: If you think that you can put the pain of your sexless marriage out of your mind by engaging in an affair, think again. Any person who is in a dedicated relationship is deeply attached to their partner, regardless of the sex they may or may not have. Indulging in a fling only adds to the burden of guilt, resentment and pain. This will not ease your pain and will not lead to a solution.
The need for a change: Some people believe that an affair can lead them to Mr. or Ms Right. In most cases, you cannot build a new relationship on the ashes of an old one. Besides, finding a person who is the opposite of your spouse will make you resent your spouse even more. In the end, the affair will only widen the gulf without assuring any permanent solution.
An affair can leave you burnt at both ends. It may create a rift on your marriage that will be impossible to heal. It is something that you should know. Instead of looking for ways to find excitement outside your marriage, look for ways to mend things between you and your partner. After all, you are in the relationship because at some point in your life, you believed that your other half was worth it. Can you just replace him or her because you’ve run into a major roadblock?
I hope that the answer is no, but this is something you need to decide for yourself. No one can make this decision for you. Just know that the cost of having an affair can be high before you rush to it.
