If your sex life is on a respirator, there are some things you should know: First off, you are not alone, not by a long shot. More than 15% of couples in the US are in sexless marriages!
Second, do not feel guilty about your unhappiness. Though love is the pivotal factor in a marriage, sex is equally important. In fact, sex is the expression of intimate love. So it is normal to feel depressed, confused and lonely when you are coping with a sexless marriage. Last but most importantly, you CAN rekindle the romance in your marriage. Only, it won’t happen unless you make an effort to learn how to deal with and fix your sexless marriage.
Proactive action is the only way to survive a sexless marriage. You need to begin by finding out what is really going on through open, blame-free communication. Is it libido, anger, resentment, meds, or something else causing the problem? Once you identify the problem, finding a solution becomes easier. This is not always such an easy thing to do, but it is essential that you do.
Next, take remedial action quickly. When people live together for weeks, months, and years it is only natural that they lose interest in sex, caught as they are in the crippling and unexciting grind of domesticity and repetitiveness. But this lack of intimacy does not happen overnight. It happens when you allow the lack of sex to continue day after day after day, without taking any action. Inaction is like slow poison. As you drift apart farther and farther, it becomes that much more difficult to get back on track. Risks of extramarital relationships and divorce increase.
The longer you allow a habit to live, be it negative or positive, the harder it is to break. A routine is more entrenched the longer it is allowed to survive. This is why you need to change the things you dislike quickly and with determination. The longer a marriage is sexless, the harder it gets to go back to a normal, passion-rich relationship.
So, if you are in a sexless marriage, the only way to turn it around is to act NOW! Remember that with each day you waste hoping for matters to resolve themselves automatically, the gap is growing wider and wider.
I can’t promise that every marriage is fixable. I can’t say how long the healing process will take. All I can say is that taking action will make you feel better and give you a fighting chance for a healthier marriage.